I'm fat!

In the states, there are tons of food options so you can either eat healthy if you wanna, or go beserk at In-N-Out and bust a 4X4 Animal Style with double cheese, well-done fries and a jumbo shake. In London, while you can find healthy stuff if you look hard enough, the pubs on every corner serve nothing but heavy-duty, stick to your bones, hardcore-sized helpings of fat sausages, big pies, mounds of potatoes, and fried hunks of fish. And I love the stuff!! Combine that with a vat of beer at every sitting, and you're bound to gain some poundage. I must admit that I too have gained some junkage in the trunkage. In fact, i feel pretty lethargic right now as I digest some kind of beef slab that had a crust over it and all kinds of mushy green stuff around it. Even though I'm all fat-ass, at least all their furniture is F-ing huge so at least you look halfway decent & skinnier while sitting in it. You should see my bed! It's like "orgy" sized!